Good morning treadmill, and hello sprints!!

October 2, 2010

So here I am a little over a year later. I was down to 114 pounds, but now I'm up 8 pounds from that and definitely not where I want to be.
I've been ill ever since the beginning of September, and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want my body back, I want my energyback, I want to stop feeling the aches and pains, and lastly I would like to know what the hell is wrong with me!
I received a call from my doctor last night that I tested positive for mono in the past, but what the hell does that mean. I could swear I have mono NOW! Today when I woke up I decided screw it. I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself, stop blowing off my workouts that I know would solve a lot of the depression and anxiety issues I'm dealing with, as well as make me feel like I'm in control of my life again. I'm going to plaster a stupid smile on my face, and at least act happy. Who knows... it just may solve a lot of my problems. It's time to be strong again, and to never allow myself to go back to that deep dark place I hate. I want to motivate and inspire others to be their best. I type this as I'm on the treadmill... so I've taken my first step. Now I just need to follow through on my diet and get up tomorrow and do this all over again (I did eat 3 brownies this morning before lifting weights and getting on this contraption, but I'm writing it off, not letting it affect the rest of today, and I'm going to do better!). So I leave you with this:

Lyrics from Eminem's song "Til I Collapse"
Sometimes you just feel tired, feel weak, you feel like you just want to give up, but you gotta start to be you! You gotta find that inner strength and just pull that shit out of you... and get that motivation to not give up, not be a quitter, no matter how bad you just wanna fall flat on your face!!!

Sigh... I would be so much farther along in my physique right now if I'd stayed nailed down in my nutrition! So my mini goal for this week is to hit every single workout and stick to my diet 100%. I looked at buying a set of kettlebells for some at home training to really melt fat but for a 20 lb bell it was $35 to $45. So I guess for now I will incorporate swings & snatches in between sets at the gym & continue to shop around until I find a sale. My schedule with the boys changes in 2 weeks so I'm concerned how that will affect my fitness... I guess I may have to workout on weekends & get in a couple lunch workouts twice a week. Hopefully if I can stick to my diet perfectly I won't need to worry about much cardio to get ripped. So that's my update.

It has been a very long time since I've been on here - my apologies. I'm still slowly plugging away. I finally got up the gumption to get back to the gym and wow does it feel great, and then I got this stupid ass cold, so now I have to take it easy. What kind of bs is that. I'm hoping to be big and strong again tomorrow. I think I finally have my first competition picked out www.bodyproud.org/events/world-natural-physique so I can do the Vegas November show which is plenty of time or I can do a local show with http://www.naturalbodybuilding.com/ in September except that it falls on my oldest sons birthday. I like the idea of the first one because it is an open event which means I don't have to pay for a membership.
So I'm giving myself lots of time to get ready and to know what needs to be done.
I've also started a bodyspace blog on bodybuilding.com - http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/terissawilliams/ so you can come visit me there to.
I'm just glad I'm doing this. It feels good to be going somewhere and every workout is a spiritual experience for me. Why haven't I been doing this my whole life???

Wowsa... Mission accomplished & I feel AWESOME! I won't be walking tomorrow but it'll hurt so good.

Check-in

Well I've managed to get on the treadmill 3 times in a row this week (I know, you better call Ripley's). I'm trying to keep this positive instead of resorting to negative self-talk which would have said "yeah but you set your alarm 4 days this week to get up and workout and you just turned it off." At this point with my job and school any exercise I can fit in is all good.
I took new measurements today on my waist and hips the important factors (well boobs are to but I don't want to know what I've lost in that region - deny, deny, deny).

And then I took pictures today and it was very depressing! I don't know if it is because I've eaten today, or if I was just REALLY fat when I started. I've gone down 4 dress sizes and I thought there would be more noticeable changes in my waist and thighs but apparently I need to get my ass to the gym and starting training with weights. Sigh....

Bodyfat = 24% (I don't think my starting 27% was very accurate, more like 30)
Waist = 30.5"
Hips = 39"
Weight = 121.5 (a number I haven't seen in a long time)
Pant size = In between size 4 and 5

It's only 3 inches but it feels like more I guess....

So I guess I should probably post something since it has been awhile. I'm down to 125 lbs which is good but I should be down more than that because in 2 months I've only lost 1 lb due to slacking off & not thinking about what I put into my mouth. I've been trying to make smarter portion size choices, & for now I've cut out alcohol. My hope & want is to get back to the gym next week. I need these puppies to be sold, so I'm not spending so much time before & after work on cleaning up crap.

Tomorrow begins hell! Full time online college + full time job + single mother + girlfriend + diet & exercise = HELL!!